Textrauma

Boys, chat, funny, help, humor, news, text, tips

Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. Sometimes it seems that we speak completely separate languages. Below are a few of my favorite bad texts that I have actually received from the boys in my life, and ways that these texts could have been written to have been at least better received.

  1. “Don’t worry! I haven’t forgotten about ya!” Two weeks post-date and day after matching on Tinder. Can one think anything besides – playyerrrrr! when reading this?

How about, Sir Lady Slayer, “Sorry we haven’t been in touch, thinking about you, how about we get together for another date soon?” Because even if you are a lady killer, you can at least try to be a little charming about it.

  1. Sorry I missed your call earlier!” … Two days post-call. Late night on Christmas Eve. No other sentiments. If we weren’t arguing before, we are arguing now.

Alright, Mr. Grinch. Lets try, “Merry Christmas! Sorry I couldn’t get back to you sooner. Will call ASAP. XO” A seemingly genuine XO thrown in there will always help to save the day.

  1. “Ok. Was with someone last night and unsure how to proceed given circumstances and recent experience with you.” From recent ex-boyfriend. I had to read this twice and pray it was a joke. It wasn’t.

Hey a$$hole! A simple “F@&K you, lady! I want you to eat sh*t and die” would have gotten the message across that you would like me to feel hurt without the deep emotional blow. What? You’d like dating advice? How about – try not to be such a pretentious d*ck. (There was no response to his text due to what felt like a de-habilitating brain hemorrhage post-reading… probably for the best).

To be continued… #TT

I Don’t Wanna Be A Tinderella

Boys, chat, dating, experiment, humor, online, tinder

I’ve been itching to see what all of this Tinder talk is about. Swipe left. Swipe Right. Moments. Taglines. Matching. Tinder is an entirely different world…. So is Pennsyltucky (relative to everywhere else I have been). Combining the two in this app has certainly not been a boring 48hr experiment.

You’d think after presumably bountiful attempts to pick up women on Tinder, he would have a clue as to what might work, and what doesn’t. Am I missing some sort of bad sexual innuendo? Is Mr. Seafood just being straightforward about solely wanting a Tinder date? I will never know… evidentially you can “unmatch.”

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Others are just soooooo cheesy. Just so you know, Mr. Simon Cowell Wanna Be, its a ten to you. And I would never date a one.

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This guy just needs to crawl out from his rock. Good, bad, or ugly year for the Texas Longhorns, they are champions at heart. Jerk.

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I was also pleased to find the occasional super friendly Pennsyltuckyian Tinderer particularly cheerful to a stranger on Monday morning.

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