Textrauma

Boys, chat, funny, help, humor, news, text, tips

Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. Sometimes it seems that we speak completely separate languages. Below are a few of my favorite bad texts that I have actually received from the boys in my life, and ways that these texts could have been written to have been at least better received.

  1. “Don’t worry! I haven’t forgotten about ya!” Two weeks post-date and day after matching on Tinder. Can one think anything besides – playyerrrrr! when reading this?

How about, Sir Lady Slayer, “Sorry we haven’t been in touch, thinking about you, how about we get together for another date soon?” Because even if you are a lady killer, you can at least try to be a little charming about it.

  1. Sorry I missed your call earlier!” … Two days post-call. Late night on Christmas Eve. No other sentiments. If we weren’t arguing before, we are arguing now.

Alright, Mr. Grinch. Lets try, “Merry Christmas! Sorry I couldn’t get back to you sooner. Will call ASAP. XO” A seemingly genuine XO thrown in there will always help to save the day.

  1. “Ok. Was with someone last night and unsure how to proceed given circumstances and recent experience with you.” From recent ex-boyfriend. I had to read this twice and pray it was a joke. It wasn’t.

Hey a$$hole! A simple “F@&K you, lady! I want you to eat sh*t and die” would have gotten the message across that you would like me to feel hurt without the deep emotional blow. What? You’d like dating advice? How about – try not to be such a pretentious d*ck. (There was no response to his text due to what felt like a de-habilitating brain hemorrhage post-reading… probably for the best).

To be continued… #TT

Generation Y’s Girl Guide to Zen

leisure, relax, tips

Since being back home in my zany household post-graduating college, bad break-up and in the midst of trying to create the start of a life plan, I have stumbled upon a few atypical ways to zen out that have proven to be wildly successful.

  1. A Time to Kiln (during the little kids school day) – It is completely empty and you are forced to choose a coffee mug, plate, ceramic kitty cat or seasonal item to paint. There are zillion different colors to choose from to paint your soon to be master piece. Because it is during the school day there is no one there, and there will more than likely be happy music playing.

2. Get your nails painted – There is absolutely no choice but to sit back, put the phone down for at least twenty minutes, and let the stress be massaged out of your soon to be pretty princess like hands.

  1. Organize the closet – If you are anything like me, the closet looks like a mad house. I recently found one of those Lizzie McGuire one size fits all scrunchy shirts that hasn’t worn since there were still new episodes of Lizzie McGuire being released on The Disney Channel. Going through these items, folding, hanging, sorting, putting aside some to donate, and maybe some in a memory bin, eventually becomes rhythmic, relaxing and extremely productive!